Một dòng thở nhẹ – Nhật ký Thiền

This morning the weather was cool, the wind blowing gently through the leaves outside the yard.
I sat down with a cup of hot tea, opened my meditation journal, and noticed a small fluctuation inside me.

Not a big issue, just a feeling that was a bit too much – a bit toohappy, a bit too sad, a bit too expectant.

I asked myself:

“Why does my mind always want to go to some extreme?”

That question brought me to the spirit of the Middle Way – not “staying in the middle,” but not being pulled toward any extreme.

Very gentle morning wind
Yet the mind leans to one side
Like a leaf at the branch’s end

I closed my eyes and observed that fluctuation.

My mind at that moment was like a leaf touched by wind – just a small stimulus, and it leaned to one side.

A small compliment – the mind becomes excited.
A small criticism – the mind shrinks.

An expectation – the mind tightens.
A disappointment – the mind falls.

I didn’t try to fix anything.
Didn’t try to “keep the mind calm.”
I just looked.

And when I looked, I saw:
the mind fluctuates not because of circumstances, but because it wants to cling to an extreme.

Two strong extremes
The mind stands in between
Swaying like a boat in waves

While observing, I remembered the spirit of Nāgārjuna:

“The Middle Way is not the middle point between two extremes, but going beyond both.”

And I remembered the words of Jiddu Krishnamurti:
“Balance is not achieved by effort, but by understanding.”

In the past, I thought the Middle Way meant “walking in the middle.”
But today, I see the Middle Way means not being pulled by the mind.

Not pulled toward joy.
Not pulled toward sadness.
Not pulled toward expectation.
Not pulled toward disappointment.

Not because I try to stand still, but because I see clearly the movement of the mind.

Not trying to stand still
Just watching the mind move
It naturally becomes calm

I looked deeper into the feeling this morning.

When I didn’t chase the small joy, it didn’t grow.
When I didn’t resist the small sadness, it didn’t pull me down.
When I didn’t cling to expectation, the mind didn’t tighten.
When I didn’t fear disappointment, the mind didn’t fall.

I just looked – and the mind returned to its natural state.

Not too high.
Not too low.
Not too bright.
Not too dark.

Just as it is.

Mind like still water
Without wind – naturally calm
No forcing needed

I remembered a time in the past when I tried to “stay calm” during an argument.

I tried not to be angry.
I tried not to react.
I tried to “keep the Middle Way.”

But the more I tried, the more tense I became.
The more I tried, the more tired I felt.
The more I tried, the further I was from the Middle Way.

Jiddu Krishnamurti said:

“Effort is another form of conflict.”

Today, I understand that sentence a little more.

It is not “staying calm” that is the Middle Way.
It is seeing clearly the fluctuation of the mind that is the Middle Way.

Not forcing calmness
Just looking deeply
The mind settles on its own

I opened my eyes, watching the sunlight spreading across the ground.

I felt a lightness inside – not because the mind was quiet, but because I was no longer being pulled toward any extreme.

I simply saw:

the Middle Way is not a state, but a way of seeing.

When seeing is clear, the mind balances itself.
When seeing is transparent, the mind becomes light.
When seeing is free from the past, the mind is free.

No effort needed.
No technique needed.
No “holding on” needed.

Just seeing.

Seeing – the mind brightens
Not leaning to any side
Like a sky without wind

Ending today’s meditation journal, I wrote a small question to carry with me:

“Which extreme is my mind being pulled toward today?”

Perhaps just by keeping that question in my heart, I will see that the Middle Way is not a path to walk – but a way to live.