That morning, on his way to the village,
the young man passed through the market and saw two men arguing over an item.

One said:

“I came first — why are you taking it?”

The other replied:

“I only asked the price! I didn’t take anything!”

Their voices grew louder.
The seller stood between them, pale with fear that they might fight.

The young man stepped closer, intending to say:

“Please calm down…”

But the moment he opened his mouth, he saw clearly:

Neither of them was actually listening.

Each was only listening to himself.
Each was defending his own “self.”
Each wanted to be right.

He stopped.
He didn’t speak.
He simply stood there, observing.

And in that moment, he saw something very clearly:

Conflict does not begin with words.
Conflict begins with the self.

One wanted recognition.
One wanted respect.
Both feared being looked down upon.

And from that fear, conflict was born.

The young man did not intervene with words.
He simply stood there — present, calm.

After a moment, the seller said softly, her voice trembling:

“Please… it doesn’t matter who buys first. I have more at home. I’ll call someone to bring more out…”

Her voice was gentle, sincere.

The two men looked at her, then at each other.
Both sighed, their tension easing.

One said:

“Alright… I’m sorry. I got too heated.”

The other replied:

“Me too. Sorry.”

The air softened, like a light rain had just passed.

The young man left the market with a light heart.

When he returned to the hermitage,
the teacher was sitting under the tree, tying a bundle of herbs.

After hearing the story, the teacher asked:

“What did you see?”

The young man replied:

“I saw that conflict doesn’t come from big or small matters.
It comes from the self wanting to be right, wanting recognition.
When the self swells, conflict erupts.”

The teacher nodded.

“Good.
Today you saw:

Meditation in conflict is the mindfulness that recognizes the self swelling.”

 

1. Conflict does not come from the situation — but from the self

The teacher said:

“The situation is only an excuse.
The self is the root.

· When the self wants to be right → conflict
· When the self wants to win → conflict
· When the self fears losing → conflict
· When the self fears being disrespected → conflict

Without the self → no conflict.”

The young man remembered the scene —
they weren’t arguing about vegetables,
they were arguing about “me.”

 

2. Jiddu: ‘Conflict exists only when the self is active.’

The teacher continued:

“Jiddu once said:

‘Conflict exists only when the self is active.’

When the self is silent:

· nothing to defend
· nothing to prove
· nothing to fear

And conflict dissolves like smoke.”

 

3. Avatamsaka: No separate ‘me’ and ‘other’

The teacher said:

“The Avatamsaka teaching says all phenomena interare.
There is no separate ‘me’ and ‘other.’

When you see the other as part of you,
you cannot be in conflict with them.

Conflict only arises when you forget this interbeing.”

The young man felt this deeply —
when he stood still, without judgment, without taking sides,
the atmosphere softened first inside him, then around him.

 

4. Meditation in conflict is not reconciliation — it is seeingclearly

The teacher said:

“Meditation in conflict is not trying to reconcile.
Not trying to calm others.
Not trying to make others understand.

Meditation in conflict is:

seeing the self swelling — in yourself and in others.

When you see it, it deflates.
When you don’t see it, it explodes.”

 

5. Practice: look at the self before looking at the situation

The teacher said:

“From today, whenever you see conflict, ask:

‘Which self is active here?’

· The self that wants to be right?
· The self that wants respect?
· The self that fears being looked down on?
· The self that wants to win?

When you see the self,
half the conflict dissolves.

When you stop feeding the self,
the conflict dissolves completely.”

The young man looked up at the sky —
clouds drifting gently, not colliding, not competing.

Conflict does not come from the situation.
Conflict comes from the self.

And meditation in conflict is seeing the self swelling.