3. THE ENTANGLEMENT IN WORDS AND DISTORTIONS

Worldly language is inherently conventional, and when a timeless teaching of liberation flows into the stream of mundane life, it is easily suffocated by the narrow views of human beings. The concept of “proximity” in the Discourse on Blessings, originally a profound inward practice, has inadvertently become a gentle trap for the ego when detached from its spiritual context and understood purely in a literal sense. Temple-goers begin to materialize this closeness, viewing regular appearances beside monastics, having a private relationship with the abbot, or being intimately familiar with the daily life of the monastery as an exclusive form of “merit.”

From this distorted perception, a thought-provoking reality has unfolded. Many people come to the temple no longer prioritizing the transformation of suffering or the study of the True Dhamma. They busy themselves establishing spiritual “diplomatic relations,” striving to seek attention, hoping to be called by name by the teacher, or aiming for special privileges within the congregation. The mind of “reverence for the Dhamma”—the respect dedicated to the pure teachings—has quietly been replaced by the mind of “reverence for the individual,” which is the attachment to and idolization of the physical form of a specific teacher.

Over time, this distortion has left deep risks and consequences for both communities:

• For the lay practitioner: Focusing too much on formal proximity has obscured their core duty of self-cultivation. Instead of sharpening the mind against Greed, Anger, and Delusion to find purity, they inadvertently nurture a new kind of arrogance: the arrogance of being “closer to the Teacher” than others. From this, the peaceful monastery can see the emergence of friction, factions, jealousy, and struggles for influence among fellow practitioners, destroying the spirit of harmony.
• For the monastics and socially engaged Buddhism: In today’s trend of engaged Buddhism, interaction between the monastic and lay worlds has become easier and more convenient than ever through media platforms and social activities. This convenience carries a massive hidden danger. Excessive pampering, intrusion into private life, or worldly coddling from “close” laypeople can become toxic winds silently eroding the virtue of a practitioner. Fame, material gain, and personal idolization are the most arduous trials on the path to liberation. This reality has existed in every era, and it manifests even more clearly today. When the boundary between the monastic and the layperson blurs, incidents of code violations or the exploitation of close relationships for personal gain have occurred, deeply wounding the public’s faith in the Triple Gem.

Mindfulness here is not for us to grow discouraged or view life through a pessimistic lens, but rather to recognize clearly: When merit is misunderstood as an external achievement, it loses the original self-liberating and other-liberating energy of Buddhism.

4. PRACTICING RIGHT VIEW: GENUINE BLESSINGS

Facing reality is not about nurturing skepticism or turning away from the monastery, but about awakening Right View. So that the word “proximity” no longer stands as a barrier of the ego, the lay child of the Buddha needs to walk in mindfulness, establishing for themselves dignified and pure boundaries on the path of supporting the Dhamma. The greatest blessing of an Upasaka or Upasika truly manifests only when they return spiritual cultivation to its rightful inward nature.

First and foremost, it is the practice of “Closeness in Dhamma, distance in private life.” A true lay practitioner comes to a monastic with the mindset of a student searching for truth. We listen to the teachings, contemplate the doctrine, and apply what we learn into family life and work to dissolve suffering. However, accompanying this pursuit of learning is an invisible yet firm boundary: absolutely no curiosity, no interference, and no attachment regarding the private life, social relations, or financial management of the monastic. Maintaining distance is the best way to safeguard one’s own spiritual mind while also protecting the integrity of the monastic’s virtue.

Secondly, we need to transform our understanding of giving, shifting from pampering a personal physical form to the offering of the Dhamma (Dhamma Dana). Before entering Parinirvana, the Buddha tenderly reminded his disciples that the supreme offering does not lie in flowers, incense, money, or worldly treasures, but in the practice of the Dhamma. A true teacher will not rejoice over a disciple who constantly hovers around to serve tea or offers luxurious gifts, but will find genuine peace when seeing that disciple reduce a bit of greed, lessen a bit of anger, know how to forgive, and live harmoniously with everyone. Transforming oneself to become more wholesome—that is the most fragrant flower of offering.

Furthermore, temple-goers need to elevate their perception from “supporting an individual” to Supporting the Triple Gem. We contribute our efforts and material resources to sustain a pure Sangha, to preserve a temple—a shared space of cultivation for the community—not to invest in an isolated relationship to reap favors or exclusive blessings. When the mind of giving is no longer shadowed by the discrimination of “my teacher” or “my temple,” that mind becomes as vast as space, and the merit from it becomes truly boundless.

Finally, the practitioner must remember the ultimate exhortation of the Compassionate Father: “Be islands unto yourselves, be a refuge unto yourselves with the Dhamma as your refuge.” A monastic, no matter how virtuous or renowned, is only a guide. They cannot practice on our behalf, nor can they grant blessings or wash away our wrongdoings. The core duty of an Upasaka is to take charge of their own spiritual destiny. Only the True Dhamma is the most solid refuge to help a practitioner weather the storms of life.